“And finally, in our time a beard is the one thing a woman cannot do better than a man, or if she can her success is assured only in a circus.” —John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley in Search of America
“On August 28, 2011, Lohse won his 100th game as a pitcher when the Cardinals defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates 7–4. “I’ve been around for a while and it’s nice to get a nice round number like that”, Lohse said. “To share it with my teammates is pretty cool.” Lohse had an interesting way of celebrating his 100th victory by eating 100 Rolo candies after the game. “I love Rolos” stated Lohse. “I was so sick after eating all those Rolos, I puked caramel all over Pujols’ cleats. I hope that was not the reason he left to go to California.” When interviewing slugger Pujols of the Rolo incident, Pujols responded, “That Lohse, he piss a me off. I have caramel all over cleats, good cleats, clean cleats, and that Lohse, he mess my cleats.” When asked if this was the reason for him leaving the Cardinals for California, Pujols claimed, “Hell yes I leave. I no be able to hit homerun with caramel on shoe.” —Formerly on Kyle Lohse’s Wikipedia entry.
“That was all I wanted. That’s the goal of any anthem singer. You never want to be the worst. You can be average. You can even be somewhat bad. But you never want to be the worst. You never want to be remembered for how awful you were. You want to be good enough to be forgotten. Because that’s the point of the anthem.” —Drew Magary, via Deadspin
“This isn’t anything you don’t already know. Baseball is a Native American trickster story — a duplicitous jerk of a coyote — and we keep falling for the same crap time and time and time again. Why are we surprised by baseball? Why do I waste my life forming opinions on baseball? Just let it happen, brother.” —Grant Brisbee